Saturday, October 31, 2009

Accidental Parenting?

There are so many different styles of parenting - especially when it comes to babies. I am not a "baby wearer" and we don't practice the "family bed" and we aren't fans of "demand feeding" and we do not believe in letting babies "cry it out". (I'm not going to get into all that.) I LOVE the Baby Whisperer. She has such a balanced approach.

One things I firmly believe in is putting newborns on a schedule. In the NICU they had Zane on a schedule where he ate every 3 hours - this was awesome because they did all the groundwork of establishing his schedule for me. Zane had pumped breastmilk from a bottle when the nurses fed him and I breastfed every other feeding. I remember when I first had Levi and a friend was telling me about things she learned with her firstborn. One of the things she said was "really, what it all comes down to is how disciplined you are as a parent". I immediately disagreed with her in my mind.

About a month ago Zane started to have tummy issues - he was spitting up a lot and had lots of gas. Normally at night when I feed Zane I get up and sit in the rocking chair and feed him. Well, I had gotten lazy recently and would put him in bed with me and breastfeed. We would both fall asleep and he would wake up an hour or so later to eat more. This led to a bad habit of him waking up to eat every hour during the night. I was SO tired. I decided I had to make myself get up, out of bed, and resume feeding and burping him without our naps in between. Once I broke that bad habit Zane was having less gas problems. I realized that because we fell asleep after he ate - I wasn't burping him at night and it was making his tummy problems worse!! So, my friend was right. Sometimes parenting comes down to how disciplined WE are. Making ourselves follow through and be consistent is so important. Tracy Hogg, aka The Baby Whisperer, would call this "accidental parenting". So often we teach our kids bad habits because we aren't parenting on purpose. I don't want my kids to be a product of "accidental parenting" when it comes to discipline. It takes longer to correct behavior than it does to do stick to your guns and be consistent in the first place!!



5 comments:

themountainpaughs said...

I completely agree! We got into that habit with Luke because he was so fussy...and he is stubborn. It takes forever to correct "our" mistake or one day of laziness!

themountainpaughs said...

I completely agree! We got into that habit with Luke because he was so fussy...and he is stubborn. It takes forever to correct "our" mistake or one day of laziness!

Robin said...

Hey Kymberly, thanks for your comment on my blog - so great to hear from you! Your boys are darling - I love Levi's hair :o) Say hello to your family for me!

Brenda, Floral Design Specialist/Owner said...

Oh how the Baby Wisperer saved my bacon! :) I can't believe how much Zane is smiling! Such a cutie! Both boys are so precious!

be_a_Mary said...

Oh its SO true--accidental parenting!! I feel like it happens to me all the time--i realize I've cultivated a bad habit or permitted a behavior and it is on ME, the mommy, to break it and lay the grounds for what is 'normal.' I do think there are occasional exceptions to this--really difficult kids, but many times I think our kids are in 'patterns' because we accept how it is, rather than go through the work of making it different. I understand though, about the exhaustion of just wanting sleep. You invite him into your bed because you are SO tired, and voila, 3 days later there is a pattern--SHOOT!!