Sunday, March 29, 2009

I am tired.

I'm tired of feeling sick 24/7.

I'm tired of craving food with actual flavor all the time and not being able to eat it.

I'm tired of peeing on a stick every day to see how dehydrated I am.

I'm tired of weighing myself every day.

I'm tired of wanting to sleep 24/7.

I'm tired of asking John to do so much for me and Levi.

I'm tired of John having to cook for himself.

I'm tired of measuring how much fluid I drink and keep down daily.

I'm tired of not being able to leave my house whenever I want.

I'm tired of feeling even worse for days after every time I do leave the house.

I'm tired of not going to church.

I'm tired of getting poked numerous times for new IV's.

I'm tired of the tubing catching on everything and anything that sticks out.

I'm tired of my Zofran medicine pump.

I'm tired of having to calculate when I shower based on when I'm tube free.

I'm tired of not dressing cute.

I'm tired of looking like I don't feel good.

I'm tired of people asking if I feel better and not being able to say 'yes'.

I'm tired of cartoons.

I'm tired of Levi watching WAY more TV than he should because I can't entertain him like I usually do.

I'm tired of not keeping the house as clean as I want.

I'm tired of not having the energy to get off the couch.

I'm tired of wearing the same velour outfits every day.

I'm tired of not being able to exercise or go on walks.

I'm tired of waking up every day hoping and praying that this is the day I start to feel a little better.

But...I have so much to be thankful for and things could be SO much worse.

Every day I wake up to the sweetest, most adorable little cutie pie and I smile and remember it will be worth it. My husband is helping as much as he can, when he can.

I was recently talking to a friend who's wife is pregnant and I was telling him how blessed she was to have him get up with their little girl each morning. He said, "It's the least we husbands can do for you pregnant women." Oh my, music to my ears. While John has been good to help he has never uttered words like that!! I shared that conversation with him and now...he says it all the time.

"Honey, will you bring me a new IV bag and flush?"

"John, would you make me some Rice?"

"John, would you get me some water?"

"John, would you go pee for me so I don't have to get up?"

John: "Its the least I can do for my pregnant wife."

AHHHHHHHH!! THAT makes me feel better!!


be_a_Mary said...

thank you for sharing. i wish i could be right there visiting you & helping. :( I don't blame you for being tired ... at ALL. its POOPY. really POOPY. this is not how pregnancy is *supposed* to be. I will continue to pray for you!!

SARAH said...

I feel like I could have wrote that post myself! Saline flush! I yell for my hubby to get me those all the time. I loved your blog, I know how you feel. I hate when I have to get IV's all the time, as much as I don't like my picc line I love not getting poked all the time. When are you due? Where you this sick with your first? If ther is anything I can do for you let me know!